We are all equal, yet unique in the most beautiful ways. Allah created each of us with precision and care, from the process of cell regeneration to the shape of our eyes. When babies are born, they play and interact without a care in the world about how they look or how others perceive them—as we all did when we were babies. However, as time goes on, external factors condition us to become more aware of our outer appearance, hoping that we are “good” enough amongst the crowd. Eventually, we realize that the pursuit of external approval will never end. What is beautiful in your eyes might not be perceived the same by someone else. Beauty is subjective, and its standards can be shaped by culture, religion, gender, nationality, and personal preference. True beauty lies within. The moment we seek validation from others is the moment we give away our power and become subject to their thoughts and opinions of us. The only way to truly enjoy life is to move forward without comparing yourself to those around you. It’s obvious—you won’t be the same, but that’s what makes you beautiful—no one compares to you. The hope for this week’s post is to spark self-love and remind you that your value comes from within and is sourced from the Creator, Allah.

Your worth never comes from your looks; it comes from the essence of who you are. Allah created each of us in a way that He is pleased with, as He says in the Quran: “(Allah) Who has beautified everything that He created” (32:07). Our bodies are merely temporary extensions of our souls. It is our responsibility to care for our temporary home that Allah has entrusted us with. But part of that responsibility is to stay far from judging and comparing ourselves to others. This will only chip away at our self-confidence, leaving us doubtful and insecure.

Basing your value on your looks undermines the beauty that lies within. Allah does not look at a person’s appearance but at their heart. Having a clean conscience and pure intentions can determine true beauty. How do we get to that, you might ask? By cultivating a healthy self-perception as we turn to and rely on Allah rather than ourselves.

Placing our trust in Allah allows us to set ourselves free—from the noise that comes from cultural and societal expectations and from being held down, pleading for people’s validation. Seeking only Allah’s approval will open our eyes to see our worth beyond the surface. What better source to gain confidence from than the Creator Himself? The all-loving (al-Wadud), the perfection and giver of peace (As-salaam), and the source of all goodness (Al-Barr).

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Along with redefining the source of our self-worth, we must also address the way we speak to ourselves. The relationship we form with ourselves will either set us up for success or lack thereof. There will be times in your life when your physical body will change for a variety of internal and external reasons. Building confidence from the way you look is like building a house of cards—it’s not strong enough to withstand the changes and challenges you’ll experience throughout life. Building a solid foundation of self-worth to stand on will take you far and is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Now take a moment to reflect on the recurring thoughts you have about yourself. Are they positive and encouraging? Or are your thoughts rude, thoughts you’d never say to a loved one? Our thoughts dictate the actions we take that ultimately translate to the state of our reality. If we repeatedly state positive affirmations, our self-perception can gradually manifest those affirmations. It’s simple: when you regularly think that you are beautiful, you will begin to feel beautiful. You just need to repeat it long enough until you believe it. Practice becoming mindful of your thoughts to regain control. There are infinite definitions of beauty, and you set that standard by the way you speak to yourself. If there are things you want to change that are in your control, then why not, as long as it’s met with love. The key here is that we must love ourselves to make the changes we want. It’s okay and healthy to want to become better. Seeking to become better does not negate your worth, rather it showcases your self-awareness, courage, and a growth mindset.

You can foster self-love by regularly showing up for yourself. This can look like doing the things you genuinely enjoy or speaking softly and lovingly to your inner child. That 5-year-old girl you once were will always be a part of you—so be kind to her through your words and actions.

Filling your cup with love and appreciation for who you are will cause you to radiate love and compassion. This will benefit you and have an effect on those around you. Our internal emotional and mental state shapes how we respond to external situations and influences how others perceive us. This is known as the mirror effect. Our self-confidence impacts how we interact with the world. When we treat ourselves kindly, kindness projects onto those around us. On the other hand, remaining trapped in a cycle of negative thought patterns will create a corrupted lens through which we interpret situations and interactions with others. This distorts our perception and keeps us stuck in the negative patterns. The reminder here is to be mindful of the way you speak to yourself. Once you accept yourself as you are, you’ll begin to see yourself in a more positive light, and that shift will change how you experience the world.

Embracing the uniqueness of who we are and recognizing that true beauty comes from within allows us to break free from the constant pursuit of external approval. By shifting our focus from physical appearance to seeking Allah’s approval and nurturing our inner qualities, we open ourselves up to a deeper sense of self-worth that is not dependent on fleeting standards. When we trust in Allah’s plan for us and cultivate self-love, we empower ourselves to make positive changes and grow into the best versions of ourselves. Remember, your value is not defined by how you look, but by the heart and intentions you carry. As we align with this truth, we not only transform ourselves but also the way we engage with the world. Embrace your uniqueness, love yourself, and allow that love to radiate outward, shaping the world around you in beautiful ways.

Kindly,

Khawla